


Better Than Playback

by SoundandColor



Category: Strange Days (1995)
Genre: Character of Color, Dark Agenda, F/M, Female Character of Color, First Time, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-24
Updated: 2010-12-24
Packaged: 2017-10-14 01:22:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/143800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoundandColor/pseuds/SoundandColor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mace has always been the one to give more, to love more, to do more and to forgive more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better Than Playback

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kimbari](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimbari/gifts).



Her momma always told her there was no such thing as an equal relationship. Someone always gives more, loves more, does more, and forgives more.

Mace has spent the years since her husband went to prison trying to change this part of herself. Trying to build up her defenses, trying to learn not to give a fuck but after him there was Lenny. Obsessive, criminal, flaky, infatuated with skinny, junkie, tricks Lenny and she should know better. She does know better and she has a kid to think about but she can’t stop herself.

Mace has always been the one to give more, to love more, to do more and to forgive more.

She’s come to accept that she’ll never be able to stop.

-

Mace isn’t ashamed to say that after years of being Lenny’s faithful friend, after being the shoulder he cried on and the ear he showed up at odd hours to bend, she’s become too resentful for even a long awaited kiss to cure.

It’s not too difficult to slip away from him afterward, to get lost in the pulsing, keyed up, crowd surrounding them and she has to give him some credit. He does move to come after her at first, but then the commissioner's there and they’re being taken in along with a hundred other people.

By the time they get to the precinct, the tapes being played on every station and by the time she's let out of interrogation, there's a crowd outside the front door. Strickland wants to thank her publicly, to give her the kudos she deserves for bringing Jeriko's murderers to his attention but she’s not the kind of person who would enjoy that type of scrutiny. She tells him thanks, but no thanks, and drops a familiar name before walking out the door.

-

It’s all too easy to disappear after that. To fall back into her well-worn routines. She’s up and bustling through her home by six, feeding the kid breakfast, dropping him off at school, going to work, coming home to sleep and repeating it ad nauseum in no time flat.

As much as she’d like to, she doesn’t have time to wallow.

The only indulgence Mace allows is snatches of time to watch the news at night and comb through the papers in the morning. His name is in the paper almost every day. He’s doing an interview on the morning news, he’s writing a book that’ll be published next year, he’s really not a hero for helping to turn over the tape of Jeriko’s murder but he’ll take that key to the city anyway.

It’s so him that she isn’t even angry about it. She’s always known who he is.

-

She moves Zander around a lot in the next few weeks before they land in a half empty motel on the very outskirts of San Francisco. The kid's fast asleep and she's just pulled on her nightshirt when there's a knock on the door. Mace stares at it for a moment, quickly moves to the dresser and grabs her gun with a wildly beating heart. She waits until a count of three before peeking out the front window and she freezes when she sees who’s behind it. Then he knocks again and it spurs her into action.

She quickly moves to the bed, makes sure the safety is on and shoves the gun under the mattress. He knocks a third time and she considers not answering before taking a breath, pulling down the hem of her nightgown and pulling the door open with a tight mouth. Max, that murdering asshole, was right. Lenny still dresses like a pimp but with his new found fame, he could be sending out high-class call girls. No more fake Rolexes and knock off labels.

It's only the best for him these days.

“You’re a hard woman to find, Macy.”

"Maybe because I was trying to get away." She finally replies.

"From me?"

“Don’t flatter yourself!" She mutters, even though he's partially right. "I don’t believe for one minute everyone involved in that cover up is locked away and I was too deep in, thanks to you, to ignore it. I had to protect my family.”

“And you just forgot to tell me where you were going?”

She opens and closes her mouth before taking a breath. "I wanted to but... you seemed busy." It's a lame excuse but it's the truth. When she called, he was always on the other line. When she visited, he was never home. Mace just decided to give up trying.

He leans against the doorjamb, all lanky long limbs, and she moves back without a thought.

"Well, can I come in?"

Macy clears her throat and steps out of his path. She watches as he walks into the room as if they haven't been apart for months, like he belongs here.

"What do you want, Lenny?"

"To see you, Macy. It's been a long time."

She's never been able to stay mad when he called her that and nothing has changed. She closes the door behind him quietly and crosses her arms over her chest. "Yeah, it's been awhile."

"And your birthday just passed."

"It was a month and a half ago."

"But this year it's _your_ fault you're getting your present late!"

Mace smiles despite herself. She didn't realize quite how much she missed him until now. "What is it then?"

He pulls a clear case and a tape player from his left pocket. They're both brand new, top of line equipment; she's never seen such a small SQUID device before.

Mace glances over her shoulder before whispering, “I can’t believe you'd bring that shit here," through her teeth.

“Relax,” he says, empty palm up and facing out in surrender as she crosses her arms over her chest. “It’s not the sort of thing I used to… deal with. It’s custom.” He tries to give the disc to her and when she doesn’t take it, he sits it in the bend of her elbow before backing away. “I had it made for you.”

She takes it into her hands and reluctantly turns it over looking for a title or some hint of what’s on it. “This is illegal, Lenny.”

“And we all know it won’t be for long, Mace.”

She takes a breath and he goes on, probably sensing an opening he can exploit. Lenny steps close to her and touches her shoulder gently. “Come on. Your first time was so messed up I felt like I should…” he stops and starts again. “Like it was my _duty_ to try and show you how good it could be. The wire’s not all about Black Jacks and porn you know.”

“So it’s not porn on this disc then?” She’s sort of startled by how flirtatious that came across when she was going for a more sarcastic retort. She thinks Lenny’s surprised as well because he leans away from her onto his back leg. But he doesn’t step back.

“Well,” he looks a little flustered. “If… I could get you—“

“No.” She replies firmly, angry with herself for even going there. “I don’t want porn.”

He licks his lips and smiles. “You sure? ‘Cause I got some high quality—“

“I’m sure!” She’s not though. Mace is… self sufficient enough but there’s nothing like the real thing and she’s gone far too long without it. When she catches his eyes again, she knows he can see it too. Lenny has always been able to read people. Has always been able to tell what they wanted before they did and where he was once blind when it came to her, he now can see.

They’re quiet before he smiles and steps further into her space. “Come on, Mace, just this one time.”

“Shut up, Lenny,” Mace responds, exasperated with him and just plain tired. Tired of fighting and with denying herself the things she wants.

She peeks over at the bed to see Zander still soundly asleep. “Keep your voice down, will you.”

He follows her gaze before responding, “Yeah, sorry. How's he been?”

"Good."

They fall quiet and look at one another before he takes her hands in his and turns on the charm. “Just come with me, okay? You don’t have to plug in. Just…” he moves his thumb in a tight circle against the pulse at her wrist. “Come talk.”

He’s trying to soothe her, to lull her into following him. While Mace’s power has always been in her fists, Lenny’s has always been in his words. In his ability to make other people believe what he wanted them to believe, in his skills of persuasion.

“Fine,” she relents and pulls away from him to brush her braids back off her face. She narrows her eyes at him. “I’m not doing it in front of him though,” she says, thrusting her thumb back towards her sleeping child and Lenny nods. She knows he’s already come up with a solution.

“I have a room right across from here. We’ll be close enough to keep an eye on him but he won’t be able to hear what we’re doing.”  
There’s something hidden in those words, like a copy placed slightly off target on top of its original, but Mace refuses to acknowledge it.  
Right this moment anyway.

“Fine, let’s go.”

He opens the door with a flourish and she only checks Zander once more before going through it. She walks at a quick pace and Lenny stays at her back.

“So how’ve you been, Macy? Good I hope. I’ve been—“

“I know how you’ve been,” the words are somewhat bitter but he’s as oblivious as ever. Or pretending to be at least and it’s always been hard to tell either way with him.

“Keeping tabs on me then?”

“Hard not to when you’re LA’s reigning hero. When your face is all over the news.”

He stares at her, opens and shuts his mouth before shaking his head and clearing his throat. “We’re here.” He pulls out his key and opens the door. “Ladies first.”

Mace steps inside and it looks a lot like his apartment in LA did. Aluminum foil on the windows, unmade bed, tapes scattered all over the floor and enough empty pizza boxes that she knows he’s been here for longer than a night. Longer than a week maybe.

“When did you get here?”

When she turns to face him he’s got that huge uh oh grin writ large across his face. “Not too long. I was already in town and I just sort of came across you two…” He stops talking and she shakes her head.

“You’re weird, Lenny.”

“No,” he says on a laugh, “I’m not. I was trying to think of the best way to approach you, Macy. You left! I tried to call and the number was changed! I went to your house and the two of you were gone! What was I supposed to do?—”

“Okay, calm down.” She orders and shuts the door behind them. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just had to get out of there.”

“Why?”

“Because we fucked over the cops and just because one of them is dead and the other one's locked up doesn’t mean they don’t still have friends on the force. I’m not the one who got credit for handing the tape over. I had no protection.”

“I would’ve protected you!”

She scoffs. “I’m pretty sure it would’ve been the opposite actually and you’re just too high profile to lay low.”

He shakes his head. Eyes big and blue and she has to look away.

“I would’ve left all that, Mace. I would’ve come with you.”

“Come on, Lenny! You got everything you ever wanted, you’re famous and you’re rich. You would’ve never given that up.”

She’s so into her diatribe that it takes her a moment to comprehend the broken look that he quickly hides behind a teasing smile.

“You don’t have a very high opinion of me do you?”

Mace chooses her next words carefully.

“It’s not that. I…” she sits on the bed behind her and rests her chin in her hands. “Living like this is just making me crazy. I’m sorry.” She thought the apology would stick in her throat but it was easy to say and she means it. She’s never liked hurting him.

“It’s fine,” he responds and hands the SQUID to her, excited as a kid on Christmas. He kneels at her side and helps her put it on.

“Now lay back.”

“I don't think so.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to, what does it matter anyway?”

“Fine. Whatever you want,” he replies with a knowing look. “You know this is going to feel weird but don’t fight it. Just relax and let it take you.”

She’s about to say something else when he presses a button and Mace finds herself wading ankle deep in a lake with a raging fire burning at her back. His back actually. She’s a man, a kid really, with long pale limbs. She can feel her body, her real body, gasping for breath in reality but in here, he’s nervous about something she doesn’t know yet when a pretty blonde wades into the water beside him and his heart beat kicks up.

This is why he’s anxious. It’s the graduation night bon fire and Kate James is here. Not just here, but standing next to him, wearing a red two-piece that makes him feel like he’s going to black out at any second. That makes her feel the same.

“Hey.” Kate says quietly and he’s is so afraid he’s shaking. “What are you doing all the way out here?”

He shrugs and the girl laughs, says, “Yeah, this party is sort of lame.”

“You could go home,” he responds even though that’s the last thing he wants and Kate just shakes her head.

“Why?”

They don’t speak for a long time after that but he is acutely aware of Kate moving closer, of their arms brushing against one another when she slips her hand into his.

“Because I wanted to see you.”

She sounds anxious when she says it and the tips of the girl’s fingers feel electric in the boy’s palm as Kate turns toward him and steps into his space. Gathers the courage to get up onto her tiptoes and ghost her lips against his before…

Mace rips the head set off with a gasp and she’s lying flat on her back with Lenny leaning over her prone body. He’s got that look in his eyes. That shining, fanatical, _sick_ gaze that needs, needs, needs. The one that only used to appear whenever Faith was somewhere in the vicinity and it’s now being directed toward her. She’s ashamed by how excited that makes her.

“Not too bad, huh?” He asks lowly in a close cousin of the baritone she imagines he’d whisper damply against her neck in other, far more interesting, situations and she pulls herself up into a seated position to try and shake the thought off.

It wasn’t too bad actually, not bad at all, but she can’t admit that so she ignores the question.

“Didn’t I say no porn!”

“Oh, that wasn’t porn.” He replies with a straight face that can’t quite hold. “That was first love.”

“Goddamnit, Lenny—“

“Seriously,” he says with a laugh. “We paid the kid ‘cause a client wanted to relive his glory days, he ran into a girl he liked and that was all real. He actually takes the head set off before anything good can happen. “

"I thought you had it made for me. Custom" She adds just to turn the screw.

"Maybe _I kept it for you_ would've been closer to the truth."

"Ummm..."

"Really!" He slides closer to her. “Look, you drove VIP’s around all day in limos with bullet proof—“

“ _Resistant_ ,” she corrects without a thought.”

“—Resistant windows! Most people are interested in the harder stuff but you lived it so what could I give the woman who already has everything?”

“So what exactly was the meaning of that gift again?”

“Relaxation, Mace. The ability not to think for a minute, to let someone else bring your pulse up, to make you feel good.”

There it is again, that double meaning between what he’s saying and what he actually means. That thing she doesn’t want to deal with but that he won’t let go of.

She stares at the foil lining in his windows and can’t dredge up the energy to be surprised when he actually says what’s been on both of their minds.

“So… New Years Eve—”

“What about it?” she asks with more ire than what’s strictly necessary. Once again, he ignores her warning.

“You kissed me.”

“You kissed me!—”

“But you kissed me back!” He responds quickly and before she can deny it, he’s lowering his head and kissing her again. Just like he did that night, only neither of them is beat up and bloody this time and there aren’t a million people watching. They’re alone. On a bed. In a scummy motel with her adolescent son not a hundred yards away and she should push him back. She should slap him for even thinking he could pull something like this on someone like her but, _oh_ , she’s wanted this for too long to stop and Zander’s too far away to hear anyway.

She brings her arms up and around his neck, lets out an embarrassing, _I’ve wanted this since the day I met you_ groan and he reciprocates. Leans down onto his elbow and pulls her into his chest. He starts to push her onto her back when she nips his lower lip and uses his surprise to try and get the upper hand.

He won’t give up his title easily though and it becomes a wrestling match that gets less fun and more serious the longer it goes on. She uses her training to her advantage and is able to get him on his back. She wraps her legs around his waist, starts to pull open his shirt when he grabs her hands to get her attention.

“Let me, Mace.”

She's breathing hard as they stare one another down, tense, waiting to see who breaks first when he finally says, “Please?” She rolls her eyes at that and lets herself fall to his side.

“Thank you.”

She grunts non-committedly and crosses her arms over her chest as he climbs from the bed and disappears from her view. She can hear zippers being pulled down and shirts being unbuttoned and jeans being tugged off thin hips and she wants to look but she won’t give him the satisfaction.

She expects him to climb back up and is surprised instead when he wraps his arms around her thighs and pulls her to the edge of the bed.  
She leans up onto her elbows to ask, “What are you doing?”

He just looks at her and she doesn’t ask again. It’s obvious what he’s after when he reaches under her gown and pulls her panties off in one swift tug. He bends her right leg up over his shoulder, licks the back of her knee and she tenses at her vulnerable state. She's exposed in a way that’s intimidating but she doesn’t try to twist from his view. Just stares at the ceiling and takes deep breathes. She’s looking at a water stain, trying to focus on its shape and not the man between her thighs, when he finally speaks.

“You’re blushing.” He says it like it’s the cutest thing in the world and she wants to simultaneously melt into a puddle of giggly happiness and show him just how not cute she actually is.

Mace finally settles on, “I can’t blush, motherfucker.” However, it lacks her usual force and when she meets his eyes he doesn’t look admonished in the least.

He just grins and says, “You do down here.”

She doesn’t know if she wants to laugh or kick him for that. This is a strange moment in their relationship. They’re still friends but they’re on the threshold of being more and Mace isn’t exactly sure how to act around him anymore. Lenny seems as comfortable as ever though and bites the fleshy part of her inner thigh hard enough to make her gasp.

“Stop thinking.” He orders and for the first time she doesn’t call him on his gull. She just does as he says and has to look away when he dips his head between her knees.

In her weaker moments, Mace always imagined that she’d have to guide him into a rougher touch. That she’d be the one doing the fucking, but he surprises her.

Lenny sucks, he does not lick. He drags blunt nails down her torso and the outside of her thighs. He uses teeth against sensitive flesh. He holds her thighs wide and she finally just screws her eyes shut. She can’t watch him do this. Mace thinks she might go crazy if a visual is added to the sensation.

She has to touch him though, to pull against the soft strands of his hair and push her hips up into him. He does something with his tongue that makes her gasp and she’s almost there. She can feel the wax and wane of an orgasm building at the base of her spine and she wants to beg him for more, to grind against him, to make him do what she wants when he slips first one then 2 fingers inside of her and she feels the pulse of it ignite. Then she’s clawing for it, reaching and gasping when she knows she should just breathe and let it roll over her but Mace has never been the type to wait for what she can take.

She grabs the tail of it, pumps her hips up with no regard for his safety and she swears she can hear him laugh. He grabs her hips and pins them to the bed, sucks until it's on the wrong side of pleasure but something fantastic is right behind that and she can't get herself to make him stop. He slips a third finger in and that's all it takes. She comes on a low gasp, squeezes him between her thighs before she remembers that he needs to breath, and lets him free.

She’s still shivering from it when she watches Lenny climb onto the bed and into the cradle of her thighs. She's seen him naked before but he was always been drugged up and bloody. She's never been able to admire his wiry musculature or his big hands or his blue eyes before without feeling like a pervert. She wishes she could lay him out and take her time with it but he kisses her again. Puts his mouth against hers like he shouldn’t but he can’t not and she moans at the taste of herself on his lips. Mace wraps her legs around his hips, reaches down between them when Lenny stops her. She can see he wants it but when she tries to shake him off, he won’t let go.

“Will you…” he finishes by twirling his pointer finger in a circle.

She’s indignant at first. Angry that he doesn’t want to see her face, sure that he wants to imagine someone else...

"Stop thinking," he whispers and she remembers that he choose her. That he gave her the tape of Jeriko’s murder even if it meant Faith’s death and she calms down.

Mace turns onto her stomach, gets caught in her gown before pulling it over her head and is moving to get up onto her knees when he leans against her back, making her lie flat. The position makes her nervous and she's shocked by the flutter of arousal that awakens in her. He drags his hand down her side, bends a thigh out at the knee and begins to work his way inside. He goes slowly, too slowly, even though she’s wet enough that he doesn’t need to be careful. She thinks he's doing it to tease her and it's working. It's making her grab the sheets in fistfuls, it's making her shameless, it's making her want to tell him things it’s too soon to say.

She thinks he planned it to do just that but she can’t. Not yet at least.

Lenny spreads her out, shoves one of his hands between the mattress and her skin to reach her breasts and lets the other circle her clit, moans

"Macy," between her shoulder blades with a grin and she smiles too.

Let's herself enjoy this moment without worrying if it'll last.

-

When she wakes up, there are shafts of light coming in through the parts of the window he didn't entirely cover and Lenny’s wrapped around her back like a shawl. They’re barely hanging on to the very edge of the bed and Mace begins to disentangle herself gently. Why the hell did she let this happen? Because she's weak, Mace thinks as she slips from the bed and starts to pull on her clothes. She's always been weak around him. When she turns, searching frantically for a pair of missing underwear, he's sitting up in bed, his hair's disheveled and his face is soft with sleep. She can feel herself smile at him without her permission.

“Where are you going?” He croaks.

“Zander. I’ve been gone too long.”

He nods his head and _they're_ a very bad idea. He's flighty and she's controlling and the practical side of her is aware that it'll never work. That she should just spare herself the pain.

Lenny nods and says, “Yeah. It's sunny outside.”

She fidgets for a moment, waits for him to say something, _anything_ else, before clearing her throat and walking to the door. Then he calls to her and she turns back.

"I can come too."

She knows better than to take a chance on something so risky and Mace isn't sure if he's just asked her a question or stated a fact but she says,  
“Yes,” anyway.

-

Mace has always been the one to give more, to love more, to do more and to forgive more.

She’s beginning to accept that she isn't the only one. That, maybe, it isn't a death sentence.

**Author's Note:**

> I saw your prompt, Kimbari, and I had to do it quickly so this is in the _process_ of being beta'd, please forgive any errors! I hope you all enjoyed.


End file.
